Wrestling update

Dave Taylor and William Regal took on Kane in a handicap match. At first I couldn’t tell who was the handicapped party – it takes at least two men to have a fair fight against the big red machine. The two kept switching out to be fresh while they kept mauling Kane on the floor – looking as if they had the upper hand…

After what seemed like inhuman punishment, Kane eventually just stood up and took the two to task with a big double clothes line, isolating them one by one, and hurling them to the floor. Flying off the top turnbuckle, Kane threw William clean across the floor, then clothes lines him out of the ring, and choke slammed Dave. They both turned tail and ran, being counted out, handing Kane another victory.

Kane is the brother of the newest Heavyweight Champion – the Undertaker. I believe that between the two of them – Taker and Kane – they would make an unbeatable tag team. I don’t know why they don’t team up and do that. Kane and Taker are both well over 6 foot, and both step easily over the top rope. They are both enormously tough, and almost unstoppable. Proof of this was that The Animal Batista was unable to beat Taker at Wrestlemania 23, losing his title, but who knows what sill happen at backlash.

My money is on Batista. Watch this space.

The Cosmos flowers this year

This year I have noticed that the Cosmos were in full bloom again over Easter, and are still showing their brave colours in the face of oncoming winter. However, this year I have noticed something else as well. There are usually three distinct colours – white, pale pink and dark pink. This year there appear to be only two – white and light pink. I have only seen three patches of the dark pink, and they were more like one or two flowers standing alone than patches really.

I don’t know why that should be. Perhaps, despite the fact that it is illegal to pick them, people have picked these dark flowers, and there were no seeds left to regenerate that colour this year, or perhaps it is genetically a weaker specie, or perhaps there is a dark pink cosmos flower eater doing the rounds, and they have all been eaten. I don’t know. All I know is that the dark red is my favourite colour, and there are hardly any this year. It is a pity too, because they add such a beautiful splash of colour to the roadsides.

They are still beautiful with the white and light pink, but because I know there is something missing, it seems like a pity.

Internediate Motorcycle training

I completed my Intermediate Motorcycle training last Saturday at Gerotek, and it was great fun. I learned a lot about handling my scooter, and about handling myself on the scooter, as well as what not to do. Here is a brief synopsis:

Firstly, we discussed rider safety gear, which I already knew from my club and biker friends; although it is amazing to see how few people take it seriously. I know that you can tend to feel like a bit of a plonka wearing full gear if you are only going down to the shops, but there is an acronym that all bikers should live by – ATGATT. It stands for all the gear, all the time, and is worth remembering. I speak from experience.

Once we had discussed the pros and cons of full leathers versus cordura or Kevlar, and the necessity of spending a minimum of R2500 (yikes, mine cost way less than that) on your helmet, we started on the clutch and throttle control at low and high speed. This was interesting because there was a person there whose bike was far too big and heavy and this person kept stalling and dropping the bike. To practise this we did various manoeuvres in straight lines, in wide arcs, and in circles around cones.

After that we went onto continuous circles around cones in a figure of eight. That was very cool. I think it may have to do with the fact that I don’t have a clutch (I ride a scoot) but I have loads of fun on this exercises zooming around the cones.

After that we went to the mountain pass and learned how to enter and exit a corner, how to judge the speed, and how to tell when it is time to accelerate out of a corner. This may sound basic, but if you don’t have a clue, and find yourself bliskeming through the barrier, you will know what I mean when I say you need to learn this!

The mountain pass was fun as we did corners up hill and down hill, on sandy patches, fairly sharp corners, and while chasing each other. Loads of fun again.

After that it was onto the gradient slopes. This proved to be very interesting for those whose clutch control was a bit dodgy. While we were there, we watched the Landrovers go down what looked like a 90 degree slope (Help!) and come up a 45 degree slope. I didn’t see the sign, and I am sure it cannot have been 90 degrees, but it was certainly too damn steep to have walked.

After lunch, we went to the suspension track to ride over simulated surfaces. This was more fun. Potholes, gravel, bad conditions, etc. Swerving, braking, slopes, and you name it. More fun was had by all.

After that we went to the Dynamic Ride and Handling track to put it all together and see if we had actually learned anything. That was groovy. We could go as fast as we wanted, and some zoomed faster than others. There were many sharp corners here but the hills were not as much fun as they were gentler.

The final thing of the day was the High Speed Oval. WOOHOO! Of course, I went as fast as my scoot would let me, which was a pitiful 95KPH (she can go at 105, but only on a down hill with a tail wind), but that was better than nothing. We were divided into relative speed groups, and none of the others overtook me. Ha ha.

All in all, it was a fantastic day, and I learned how to take a line into a corner, and most importantly, how to safely accelerate out of a corner. Also, how to read a corner. I also learned when and how to use back brakes (hardly ever), and when and how to apply brakes in gravel.

I had the best time, and learned a lot to keep me safe.

To all you other 2 wheelers out there: safe riding, and God speed.

Department of Homeland Affairs

Another bug bear I have at the moment is the Department of Homeland Affairs. My passport has expired. In order to get another, it takes 6 to 8 weeks, unless you apply for a temporary one which you can get in 11 days.

If you apply for a temporary one at the same time, you have to complete 2 application forms, and pay an additional R500 for the “emergency” document, although there are 2 specific blocks on the application form – one saying emergency passport, and one saying emergency travel documents. This one is a temporary passport, and will allow you have a passport much quicker than the usual wait. But there is a catch. There are MANY countries that do not accept these so-called temporary passports such as the UK, Dubai, India, and a few other I forget.

I have also discovered another annoying thing. The reason it takes 6 to 8 weeks for the normal passports to be ready is that they are not processed right away.

There is an SMS number you can text to see the progress of you document, and so far, mine is still not registering as a application, never mind any of the other steps. This is obviously because all the stupid temporary ones go to the top of the pile and the rest of us just have to wait.

This is a stupid system. If they just processed them all as they came in there would be no problem. WTF is wrong with this picture?

I am flying to the UK in 6 months. I just hope my passport is ready by then. Some people involved in the procurement of these type of travel documents advised me that I was wise to apply so early as I may only just make it.

Watch this space…

Don’t try to help me, just do what I ask you to do

So today I asked a colleague to perform a certain financial function for me that I do not have access to on the financial system, which is so simple it should have taken him less than 3 minutes to do it. I needed a credit note against a particular invoice due to an extremely long-winded negotiation with a client that has taken a year to resolve, and has now finally been agreed upon.

All that needed to be done was a credit note to be created for an amount which I specified, and for him to let me know it was done in the system so I could print the note, get a partner to sign it, scan it in and send it to the client. But no. Things are NEVER that simple.

2 hours later he calls me back with a long story about how he cannot reverse the invoice because it is in the previous financial year, and it is only for a part of the amount. Of course it is – this is why I asked for a credit note. The invoice is NOT supposed to be reversed, it is supposed to stand, and only a portion is supposed to be credited.

I explained that to him, in as much detail as I had put into the mail, and he still did not understand.

Now I realise that NOBODY is indispensable, but there are a few people at my office that we simply cannot do without. The person he is replacing is one of them. She is the only person who knows the financial system, and who knows what is going on, and who actually listens to you when you ask her to do something.

She doesn’t try help me by doing something else (assuming I must have used the incorrect term, and substituting another in its place), and she also understands the urgency of things at all times.

One of the things I hate most about the office environment is people who either are completely fecking stupid, or those who try help you by doing something other than what you have asked them to do because they think they are helping you. STOP IT! You are not helping. You are causing a problem and making work for everyone, including yourself.

Think people. Think!

the world is a village, except it is not

This is a picture of me with my best friend in the whole world at Cape Agulhas - the most southern point of Africa. I met him online 9 months ago. We got chatting, and became fast friends.

Eventually, we decide to come visit me in South Africa, all the way from Ireland, and it was better than either of us hoped. He is a true gentlman, a man of honour, and is my best friend in all the world.

I cried when he left to go back home, and I miss him terribly, but he has invited me to go visit him in Dublin, and I am saving for a ticket. I think I will write the whole story down in the next post, but wanted to put his smiling mug up here to remind me how wonderful life can be.

Although the world is a village in that we can meet online and chat as if we are neighbours, I cannot just pop next door to see him and give him a hug, or go see him for a chat.

Please will someone invent a teleporter really quickly? Pretty Please?

When it is not funny

There are many different types of humour, depending on where you live in the world, how yuo were brought up, your home language, and how you see the world, but I think we can all agree that humour which is always at someone else's expense is just not funny.

I have a colleauge who thinks he is just sooooooo fecking funny because he goes around insulting people all day long, and passes it off as funny. He then looks for affirmation, and si helluva surprised when he doesn't get it.

I can't decide if he is stupid or just mean-spirited.

Funny is as funny does, or something like it. Surely it not funny to call someone stupid, or see a diary on their desk and ask them if it is the dummy's guide to time management, or if they have a shoe off to ask them what the awful smell is.

Funny is like clever. You can't buy it. No matter where you shop, nor how many times you say the same thing...

New words and phrases

Fabulous - now to remember them...

New Words for 2007

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.

AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box

AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under

GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare

MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing

PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks

SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive person

TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women


And just because they're funny..... Old Words for 2006

TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks

BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible

SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves

ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and
advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard

SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die

CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles

PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business"

SINBAD. single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate

STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
whiny

ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed
to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" -
needless paperwork and processes

404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located

OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')

GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of
buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff
member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is
known as a McShit with Lies.(we've ALL done this)

BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am

BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home
after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you
live, how you got here, and where you've come from

MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you
go:"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!"

MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're
in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive
people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in

MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning
before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a
10-Pinter in your bed instead

SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person

Men and bums

Another thing I know about men for sure (or maybe about my colleague, who represents the typical male) is that when a man walks behind a woman that is what he is thinking. Behind.

He just walked into the office and said, and I quote: “Say what you want, but African women have great asses”.

I asked him who he was referring to and he said he really didn’t care who it was as he wasn’t concentrating on her face at all. In fact, he didn’t even take the time to look at her face. He couldn’t even have told me if he knew who it was; he was completely fixated on her butt.

Just to prove my point, he also looked at my chest this morning, blushed, and said (I kid you not) “no Friday cleavage then? I was looking forward to some cleavage and now you have ruined my day.”

I find it completely amusing that he thinks it is funny to say that right out loud, and secondly that he thinks it is appropriate to say something like that at all in this day and age.

Can you say “sexual harassment”?

Joke of the day (not my original...)

Men and cleavage

So, I think there is a compulsive connection between women's breasts and men's eyes. I did a little experiment the other day - I wore a tight-fitting, black, crossover, fairly low cut, revealing t-shirt. Of all the men, one (who I suspect is gay) did not look at my cleavage. The rest looked, almost as if they could not help it. I questioned a few of them on it, and their reply was that if I am going to wear clothes like that then I get what I want, and do they.

Whatever.

I am just totally amused that men in general are so unable to control themselves. It is both amusing, and sad. Poor guys. Imagine being ruled by women so obviously and so impulsively all the time...

I guess I never noticed this before because I have been overweight my whole life, and have only recently noticed that I have a body.

I have lost 43 kilos in the last 3 years, and kept it off. Just a few more to go. woohoo. I am literally half the women I used to be.

Christmas Lunch! Yum

This year, instead of having the usual (albeit delicious) Mongolian braai, I managed to negotiate a different plan. We had the most delicious roast chicken with cranberry stuffing, roasted vegetables, and roasted potatoes.

We had also planned on having green salad, and red salad. We did so many roasted veggies that we did not make the salads, as there seemed to be quite enough to eat.

We put the chicken into a cooking bag, and surrounded it with the veggies, lightly coated in olive oil, and very sparingly drizzled with honey.

After 2 hours in the oven (the veggies came out a bit before), the chicken was done. The final touch was to put some Dukkah onto the potatoes. We had made our own Dukkah, and it is the most excellent thing ever. It is supposed to be a fragrant Egyptian spice, and MAN is it ever delicious.

We got the base recipe from a book somewhere, but made it our own. You take one cup of oven-roasted almonds, one cup of oven roasted sesame seeds, one third of a cup of coriander seeds, one third of a cup of cumin seeds, and blend it all in a food processor. Then add a quarter teaspoon of flaked sea salt, and you have the best spice in the world.

It is a very subtle yet fragrant flavour that we added liberally to the potatoes.

For festive drinks we made cranberry and soda with ribbons of cucumber and strawberry in them. The looked very merry.

I am going to try upload some pics for you all to see.

The drinks with the cucumber ribbons:


Here is the raw chicken with the delicious-looking veggies before they went in:

Driving lessons 101

Inspired by being a passenger in my friend's car. !!!!

Lesson 1
Don’t break into a corner. If you have to, break before, but you will have more control of your vehicle if you accelerate into a corner than if you are breaking. Plus, people don’t expect you to slam on anchors for no apparent reason just because there is a corner ahead.

Lesson 2
Always be aware of where cars are around you. This includes those behind you, in front of you, and yes, even next to you. This is so that in the unexpected, yet almost certain to occur event, you know where your escape routes are, and don’t have to start looking when you only have one second to act. The same goes for if you are waiting to be let into traffic. Don’t start looking for gaps on the other side if one side lets you in…

Lesson 3
Be aware of the surface of the road ahead and to the sides of you. Again, this has to do with planning an escape route. ‘nuf said.

Lesson 4
Be aware of the potential danger spots such as side roads where cars will suddenly come out of nowhere into your lane because they can. Perhaps they did see you, perhaps they did not. Even if you were right, you are still dead.

Lesson 5
Expect people to stop for pigeons, dogs, old ladies, and even beetles (imaginary or real) with no reason whatsoever. However, this will be no problem for you if you have kept your following distance. Again, even if you were right, your car still gets bent…

Lesson 6
People will wait until the last minute to go, and will drive out in front of you because they can. Anticipate this. You know it is going to happen.

Lesson 7
Learn to use your breaks properly. Anticipate, and instead of screaming up to an intersection or a group of cars, try just lifting your foot off the accelerator and letting gravity help you. You will find that your petrol bill goes down significantly too.

My Mum has 2 medals that her Dad got for safe driving. Can you imagine that? It seems inconceivable that such things were ever awarded. I bet the people who gave those out are turning in their graves today.

I wanna buy a helicopter

Safe driving...

New neighbours

I have a new neighbour, which means that my old neighbour is gone. Woohoo! She was a very rude, mean-spirited, and selfish woman, and I am glad she is gone. (I realise that is not really a very good attitude to have, but I don't really care.)

When she moved in, I went to welcome her, and she was rude and obviously did not want to be part of our neighbourhood, or perhaps was not used to being welcomed into a neighbourhood. I would greet her everytime I saw her, but she would either swear at me under her breath, or ignore me flat. I was still friendly to her for the past 2 years, and finally yesterday evening I saw that a new couple had moved in. (I had heard various noises the evening before until 1am, but that was not unusual, so I ignored it.

Anyway, I went to welcome my new neighbours, and they seem like a wonderful couple. I cannot tell you how pleased I am. We have already discussed where the good shops are in the neighbourhood, where the best take away joints are, best routes onto the highways, doctors, vets, etc, and we even have a coffee date. I am also going to help them paint one of their rooms.

Not only are they friendly, but they also don't have a dog. Now, I love animals, and have had various combinations all my life. I currently have a cat. My old neighbour had a dog who used to get out of her yard (because she did not have a gate), and deposit tons and tons of dog poo on my lawn, and chase my cat daily. Despite the complex and body coporeate rules that every place must have a gate if it has animals, she simply did not ever put one up, which meant that her dog could wriggle through my gate which has holes between the slats of the metal. Needless to say, I asked her politely many times, but she would either ignore me, or say "well, that is what dogs do!"

Next to brussel sprouts and cooked oatmeal, dog poo is THE MOST DISGUSTING thing in the world, and I really resent having to pick it up if I don't have a dog.

I considered picking it up and giving it to her weekly, but I was afraid she may hit me. LOL. Never mind, she has gone now.

Thank goodness for new neighbours.

Yaaaaaaaay!

Cretin driver...

Yesterday, it was raining while I was driving on the highway. Now, while I am the first to admit that the general driver in South Africa is not what I would call a "good" driver, it gets worse when it rains. Even if it only rains a bit. As soon as the roads become even vaguely slick, people forget how to drive completely (that is if they ever knew how in the first place!), and somehow, people drive even closer behind you, and faster than they do when their tyres grip on the road is more solid.

Case in point: yesterday, I watched helplessly as a man in a white bakkie (you may call it a truck or a utility vehicle, depending on which part of the world you live in) came speeding up behind me, oblivious to the fact that all three lanes of traffic were driving at only 30KPH due to the poor visibility and rain. He came belting along, and suddenly saw me. He slammed on anchors, and I could see that he was going to hit me, so I tried to calmly move forward into the space I had left in front of me, but I knew it would not be enough, and I braced myself for the impact.

At the last possible moment, he swerved out and hit the barrier in the middle of the island. Now you have to understand. I have what may be called an overactive imagination. In my mind, it all happened in slow motion, and I could see it as if it were a cartoon, happening with the stars, the smoke escaping out of the bonnet, and everything. Even the sound of the impact had a quasi-cartoon sound to it. I really should not have laughed, and perhaps it was the release of the tension and adrenalin, but I burst out laughing. I still laugh now at the thought of picture on my mind. Luckily, he was not injured at all, and there was little damage to his car.

Thank goodness.

All I can say is I have ABS breaks, and he does not. I guess that's what the barrier is for. Poor guy. Perhaps he will pay closer attention next time.

Dodged a bullet. Here's to the next dodge...

Sleeping...

A friend of mine says that sleeping is a waste of time. She says that time you spend sleeping is time lost, and that you never get that time back.

Firstly – Duh! Secondly, how can it be a waste of time if your body is healing, regenerating, and relaxing? Thirdly, when else do you get to dream? I know some of you said you don’t dream, or don’t remember your dreams, and some dreams are bad dreams, but some dreams are good dreams.

In the words of Ralph Wiggum (from the Simpsons) “Oh boy sleep. That’s where I’m a Viking!” I find the moments just before wakefulness to be among the most pleasant, specially if it is cold out. Your body is still asleep, and warm, but your mind is just starting to wake up.

I don’t consider sleep a waste of time, but I do consider ironing a waste of time. Your clothes do look much better on you when they are ironed, there is no question about that, but soon, they get all wrinkly again. What’s the point of doing something that will get undone and need to be redone soon?If they can send a man to the Moon, and a car to Mars to collect Mars rocks, why can’t they create linen that is wrinkle-proof?

What do you consider to be a waste of time?

Fecking big spider

28 Sept 2006
This morning, as I got to my office, the usual round up of dust bunnies, viruses creeping around the aircon machine, and dead leaves on the plant greeted me, but I also had an additional visitor. Reading the sage words of Zen advice on keeping your head when all around you are failing (you know, things such as no one is listening until you fart…) was an adolescent baboon spider. I looked at him in surprise, and he looked at me as if I was a piece of mouldy cheese.

After trying to get hold of any men at work who would be willing to help us get rid of the spider (and yes, they were all too scared to do it) I phoned my brother, described it to him, and fond out that it was most likely a Baboon spider which is not venomous. He suggested just patting it from behind with my hand, and letting it walk onto my other hand (yeah right!) and dropping it gently out the window onto a branch.

I got a long ruler, and a big piece of cardboard (hands - I don't think so), and as I was about to do "le manoeuvre", the cleaning lady jostled me out of the way, and hit it with a brush into a bucket of warm water, and threw it and the water out of the window.

Oh well.

Now for the crux of the matter… You may have read in a previous post that my middle brother (the one who I phoned in this piece) used to keep Baboon Spiders as pets. I do remember that we used to hold them and play with them. I was a lot younger then, and I guess what they say about the young having no fear is true, because I was scared today. Scared the spider would run up my arm and onto my head, scared it would bite me, scared it would be sore, scared of I don’t even know what. The point is, there was a time when I would not have thought twice about doing it. The proof of this is below in my oldest brother’s email response.Names and email addresses have been erased to protect my anonymity.

------------
You're such a poofter. I recall a time when you and xxx were holding the tarantulas. I had to do it too, cause face was at stake.
xxx

Benefits of an office...

25 Sept 2006

I figured out today that I don't have a sore back, and that I an not walking hunched over on the left side.I realised it is because I have been leaving my piles of books and papers in the office.You may think this is a normal thing to do, but when you work from the client, and a different client site every day, you get to carry all your crap with you.

Now, let's be realistic. We are supposed to be working in a paperless office environment. Ha ha. Don't even get me started on that. You have to print stuff out so that the bosses can read it, proof it, change it, sign it, and then copy it.I do scan most of my stuff, but all client documents and boss documents must be paper-based. I end up carrying at least 10 kilograms of paper with me every day in my work bag, along with my laptop. I eventually invested in a backpack type so that the weight would be evenly distributed over both shoulders, but I never use it that way. I end up carrying it all on my right shoulder, and this has caused me to walk funny.

Perhaps I always did, but it also give me backache.I didn't realise how bad it was until we got an office two weeks ago. I now officially have a place to put my stuff overnight, and leave my things on a desk where I know they will be safe until I return the next day (if I know that I am not going to the client first thing in the morning).Usually, we worked on the premise of hot desks - which is a good method, except if you have multiple documents that need to be filed and stored for legal purposes. My boot (trunk for the Americans) is full of client approvals, sign-off documents, and such. It would be a helluva thing if my car was ever stolen.

But now, we have an office, and I can store the stuff there.It is also a good thing because I can leave my heavy files and papers there overnight, just bringing my laptop home every day.

My back thanks the powers that be, and I thank them too. I am sure that the auditors will too if and when they need to see all project documentation.Who knows, maybe we will get a printer on the same floor that is not half a day's walk away, but i am not holding my breath...Woohoo!

Stop and throw the roses... at the passers by

My car broke down in rush hour traffic this evening. Damn annoying. However, it was at a stop street, so things could have been worse. At least I was not in the middle of the intersection.

The gradient of the road was quite steep, so there was no chance of me pushing the car to the side on my own, and i think i can't have been flashing enough leg because it took ages for anyone to stop and help me.

I put my hazard lights on, and phoned for help, but in the 20 minutes that I waited, I observed the following - I think you will it as interesting as I did.

At least 120 cars drove past me.
2 stopped and offered help.
5 hooted at me in annoyance as if I was doing something wrong.
5 flashed lights at me from behind in annoyance as if I was doing something wrong.
3 cars (ladies I must admit) stopped behind me and waited for me to go, realising about 3 minutes later that I had my hazard lights on...)
7 cars from across the intersection who were turning flashed lights at me to indicate that I could go in front of them (I guess they could not see my hazards either!!)
Lastly, significantly less than half of the cars from behind me noticed more than 2 - 3 meters away that I had my hazard lights on and changed lanes before they were so close they had to wait before they could.And I forgot to mention the best bit - A police Car drove past me too.

I get stopped all the time and have to show my license, but when I need help, they don't stop me.

SIGH.

This is an extraordinary comment on how we drive.

Not always what you think...

Okay, another joke, but this was funny enough to post.

Bob wakes up with a huge hangover the night after a business function.He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!

Bob sits up in bed and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Bob looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping - Love you!!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Bob asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door."So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, bitch, I'm married!!!"