I don’t know if there are truly no gentlemen left, or if there were never any out there to start with, but I am more and more convinced that no one has any manners or class anymore.
I joined a dating website – yes I know what you are thinking, and I don’t care.
Anyway, I am 36, still attractive, and looking for my prince charming. It is just a pity that there are so many cretins out there.
I have received 186 views in a day and a half, and thought I was doing quite well actually (even if I do say so myself), but that was until I read the mails. Half were from married men, one quarter were from men who are only looking for no strings “fun”, and the other quarter are either so needy they make me want to run for the hills, or so distant and aloof they make the petrol in my car seem like a better bet for a long-term thing.
According to the automatic matching thingy, there are 1000 matches out there for me with a rating of 90% and higher, based on my preferences, but when I write to them I guess they are either turned off by the assertiveness, what I have to say in my profile, or just don’t like my picture. What else is there to say? I did find a few of my friends and colleagues on there which was quite amusing. I guess we all say things about it, but are willing to give it a try anyway. After all – where are we supposed to meet people if we work long hours, and cannot be bothered to go to smoky booze-filled bars to meet people under false pretences? I say false pretences because it is not my natural habitat, and anyone I meet there will assume that I like to hang out there, which I don’t. It is a difficult call. There are not really any sports clubs, and people at gym are there for their “me” and "de-stress” time, so are not really there on the prowl. And anyway, who wants to me picked up hot and bothered, sweating, looking anything but your best with your but hanging out of a leotard or shorts that are hiking up into no man’s land?
I just don’t know what the answer is.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Mixed news in the WWE
First, we hear that the Rabid Wolverine, that bringer of toothless aggression, Chris Benoit has died, then we hear that Vincent Kennedy McMahon has been killed in a bomb blast that rocked his limo.
The only good thing these past few days has been that the WWE is coming to Johannesburg on the 6th of September. Woohoo!
I mourn for the loss of one of Wrestling's finest and greatest gentlemen - Chris Benoit. He died after killing his son and wife (unfortunately), but will be greatly missed. He is best known for his crippler cross face maneuver, which once applied and locked in is inescapable. He is also known for his triple suplexes, and some high flying off the top rope to l and with his elbow on his opponent before applying either of these moves.
I hope he is inducted into the hall of fame really soon.
Now onto the cretin - Mr McMahon.
It was Mr McMahon appreciation night on Monday night RAW, and they showed him being booed by the crown. Yaay. Cretin.
Then they showed him walking out to his limo. Now they never film anyone going out to their limo unless something is going to happen. in this case, it exploded. Apparently, the FBI are investigating this and charges will be brought as soon as anything can be found.
I think he has just retired, and wants to be left alone. Talk about show business.
Just think - i will get a chance to see John Cena, Batista, Umaga, and the rest in September. I wonder what the soapie plot will be by that stage.
But one thing still remains constant. Edge is still a loser.
The only good thing these past few days has been that the WWE is coming to Johannesburg on the 6th of September. Woohoo!
I mourn for the loss of one of Wrestling's finest and greatest gentlemen - Chris Benoit. He died after killing his son and wife (unfortunately), but will be greatly missed. He is best known for his crippler cross face maneuver, which once applied and locked in is inescapable. He is also known for his triple suplexes, and some high flying off the top rope to l and with his elbow on his opponent before applying either of these moves.
I hope he is inducted into the hall of fame really soon.
Now onto the cretin - Mr McMahon.
It was Mr McMahon appreciation night on Monday night RAW, and they showed him being booed by the crown. Yaay. Cretin.
Then they showed him walking out to his limo. Now they never film anyone going out to their limo unless something is going to happen. in this case, it exploded. Apparently, the FBI are investigating this and charges will be brought as soon as anything can be found.
I think he has just retired, and wants to be left alone. Talk about show business.
Just think - i will get a chance to see John Cena, Batista, Umaga, and the rest in September. I wonder what the soapie plot will be by that stage.
But one thing still remains constant. Edge is still a loser.
Monday, June 25, 2007
The best tag team match in a long time
Yaaaaay!
Finally, Batista, and Benoit got together and had a match against Edge and MVP. Obviously, there are personal issues between Edge and Batista; and between MVP and Benoit. That always makes for a much better match, and this was no exception.
All I can say is that Benoit and Batista are the best in teh biz as far as I am concerned.
What is more, Batista beat the Rared R Super Star in a steel cage match (which unfortunately wasn't shown here) to reclaim his title, and as usual, Edge has been moaning abuot how unfair it all is since then.
Edge is a loser
Edge is a loser
Edge is a loser
Edge is a loser
Edge is a loser
Edge is a loser...
Finally, Batista, and Benoit got together and had a match against Edge and MVP. Obviously, there are personal issues between Edge and Batista; and between MVP and Benoit. That always makes for a much better match, and this was no exception.
All I can say is that Benoit and Batista are the best in teh biz as far as I am concerned.
What is more, Batista beat the Rared R Super Star in a steel cage match (which unfortunately wasn't shown here) to reclaim his title, and as usual, Edge has been moaning abuot how unfair it all is since then.
Edge is a loser
Edge is a loser
Edge is a loser
Edge is a loser
Edge is a loser
Edge is a loser...
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Working with some men is like watching a pissing contest
I have just had the “privilege” of hearing two of my colleagues go head to head on who had the better understanding of some obscure and arbitrary naming convention. Funny thing is that they weren’t even comparing the same one. And it wasn’t even relevant to the conversation. They were just having a pissing contest. Fuckwits.
And all this behind me, getting louder and louder until they were shouting at each other. Eventually I said something about the noise level and they were very offended. They had so lost the original point of the conversation they didn’t even know where to begin again, and adjourned the so-called “meeting” to start again tomorrow.
Just goes to show – never argue with an idiot. He will bring you down his level and then beat you with experience.
And all this behind me, getting louder and louder until they were shouting at each other. Eventually I said something about the noise level and they were very offended. They had so lost the original point of the conversation they didn’t even know where to begin again, and adjourned the so-called “meeting” to start again tomorrow.
Just goes to show – never argue with an idiot. He will bring you down his level and then beat you with experience.
Return of the World’s Strongest Man
Last night I watched Marc Henry wrestle Kane, and it was a real treat to see Kane being pushed around somewhat. It was the most interesting thing. Both men stand at 7 feet tall, and in the ring they looked just like normal people battling each other. I have not often seen people push Kane around, or be able to lift him into the air and throw him to the ground with seeming ease.
The self-proclaimed silverback – Marc Henry, who is back from Knee surgery and recovery over a year ago, is on his come back path, and had to go through Kane first. His strategy was very interesting, and he won his bout, although if the match was to be won on points, Kane may have ultimately had the upper hand.
Marc Henry kept getting out of Kane’s way by leaving the ring, but coming back in just before he was counted out. Very clever strategy to get out of the way of the Big Red Machine’s huge ham fists, and choke slam tactics. Especially as you could tell that every now and then his surgically repaired knee was not quite as agile as the other.
After watching them give each other a few beltings back and forth – neither seeming to be the worse for wear, Marc Henry managed to throw Kane out of the ring, and he was counted out and lost the match to Marc Henry.
I had forgotten how agile such a huge man could be – all 400 pounds of Marc Henry are back, and if this first match was anything to go by, his come back trail will be worth watching.
The self-proclaimed silverback – Marc Henry, who is back from Knee surgery and recovery over a year ago, is on his come back path, and had to go through Kane first. His strategy was very interesting, and he won his bout, although if the match was to be won on points, Kane may have ultimately had the upper hand.
Marc Henry kept getting out of Kane’s way by leaving the ring, but coming back in just before he was counted out. Very clever strategy to get out of the way of the Big Red Machine’s huge ham fists, and choke slam tactics. Especially as you could tell that every now and then his surgically repaired knee was not quite as agile as the other.
After watching them give each other a few beltings back and forth – neither seeming to be the worse for wear, Marc Henry managed to throw Kane out of the ring, and he was counted out and lost the match to Marc Henry.
I had forgotten how agile such a huge man could be – all 400 pounds of Marc Henry are back, and if this first match was anything to go by, his come back trail will be worth watching.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Wrestling update
Dave Taylor and William Regal took on Kane in a handicap match. At first I couldn’t tell who was the handicapped party – it takes at least two men to have a fair fight against the big red machine. The two kept switching out to be fresh while they kept mauling Kane on the floor – looking as if they had the upper hand…
After what seemed like inhuman punishment, Kane eventually just stood up and took the two to task with a big double clothes line, isolating them one by one, and hurling them to the floor. Flying off the top turnbuckle, Kane threw William clean across the floor, then clothes lines him out of the ring, and choke slammed Dave. They both turned tail and ran, being counted out, handing Kane another victory.
Kane is the brother of the newest Heavyweight Champion – the Undertaker. I believe that between the two of them – Taker and Kane – they would make an unbeatable tag team. I don’t know why they don’t team up and do that. Kane and Taker are both well over 6 foot, and both step easily over the top rope. They are both enormously tough, and almost unstoppable. Proof of this was that The Animal Batista was unable to beat Taker at Wrestlemania 23, losing his title, but who knows what sill happen at backlash.
After what seemed like inhuman punishment, Kane eventually just stood up and took the two to task with a big double clothes line, isolating them one by one, and hurling them to the floor. Flying off the top turnbuckle, Kane threw William clean across the floor, then clothes lines him out of the ring, and choke slammed Dave. They both turned tail and ran, being counted out, handing Kane another victory.
Kane is the brother of the newest Heavyweight Champion – the Undertaker. I believe that between the two of them – Taker and Kane – they would make an unbeatable tag team. I don’t know why they don’t team up and do that. Kane and Taker are both well over 6 foot, and both step easily over the top rope. They are both enormously tough, and almost unstoppable. Proof of this was that The Animal Batista was unable to beat Taker at Wrestlemania 23, losing his title, but who knows what sill happen at backlash.
My money is on Batista. Watch this space.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
The Cosmos flowers this year
This year I have noticed that the Cosmos were in full bloom again over Easter, and are still showing their brave colours in the face of oncoming winter. However, this year I have noticed something else as well. There are usually three distinct colours – white, pale pink and dark pink. This year there appear to be only two – white and light pink. I have only seen three patches of the dark pink, and they were more like one or two flowers standing alone than patches really.
I don’t know why that should be. Perhaps, despite the fact that it is illegal to pick them, people have picked these dark flowers, and there were no seeds left to regenerate that colour this year, or perhaps it is genetically a weaker specie, or perhaps there is a dark pink cosmos flower eater doing the rounds, and they have all been eaten. I don’t know. All I know is that the dark red is my favourite colour, and there are hardly any this year. It is a pity too, because they add such a beautiful splash of colour to the roadsides.
They are still beautiful with the white and light pink, but because I know there is something missing, it seems like a pity.
I don’t know why that should be. Perhaps, despite the fact that it is illegal to pick them, people have picked these dark flowers, and there were no seeds left to regenerate that colour this year, or perhaps it is genetically a weaker specie, or perhaps there is a dark pink cosmos flower eater doing the rounds, and they have all been eaten. I don’t know. All I know is that the dark red is my favourite colour, and there are hardly any this year. It is a pity too, because they add such a beautiful splash of colour to the roadsides.
They are still beautiful with the white and light pink, but because I know there is something missing, it seems like a pity.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Internediate Motorcycle training
I completed my Intermediate Motorcycle training last Saturday at Gerotek, and it was great fun. I learned a lot about handling my scooter, and about handling myself on the scooter, as well as what not to do. Here is a brief synopsis:
Firstly, we discussed rider safety gear, which I already knew from my club and biker friends; although it is amazing to see how few people take it seriously. I know that you can tend to feel like a bit of a plonka wearing full gear if you are only going down to the shops, but there is an acronym that all bikers should live by – ATGATT. It stands for all the gear, all the time, and is worth remembering. I speak from experience.
Once we had discussed the pros and cons of full leathers versus cordura or Kevlar, and the necessity of spending a minimum of R2500 (yikes, mine cost way less than that) on your helmet, we started on the clutch and throttle control at low and high speed. This was interesting because there was a person there whose bike was far too big and heavy and this person kept stalling and dropping the bike. To practise this we did various manoeuvres in straight lines, in wide arcs, and in circles around cones.
After that we went onto continuous circles around cones in a figure of eight. That was very cool. I think it may have to do with the fact that I don’t have a clutch (I ride a scoot) but I have loads of fun on this exercises zooming around the cones.
After that we went to the mountain pass and learned how to enter and exit a corner, how to judge the speed, and how to tell when it is time to accelerate out of a corner. This may sound basic, but if you don’t have a clue, and find yourself bliskeming through the barrier, you will know what I mean when I say you need to learn this!
The mountain pass was fun as we did corners up hill and down hill, on sandy patches, fairly sharp corners, and while chasing each other. Loads of fun again.
After that it was onto the gradient slopes. This proved to be very interesting for those whose clutch control was a bit dodgy. While we were there, we watched the Landrovers go down what looked like a 90 degree slope (Help!) and come up a 45 degree slope. I didn’t see the sign, and I am sure it cannot have been 90 degrees, but it was certainly too damn steep to have walked.
After lunch, we went to the suspension track to ride over simulated surfaces. This was more fun. Potholes, gravel, bad conditions, etc. Swerving, braking, slopes, and you name it. More fun was had by all.
After that we went to the Dynamic Ride and Handling track to put it all together and see if we had actually learned anything. That was groovy. We could go as fast as we wanted, and some zoomed faster than others. There were many sharp corners here but the hills were not as much fun as they were gentler.
The final thing of the day was the High Speed Oval. WOOHOO! Of course, I went as fast as my scoot would let me, which was a pitiful 95KPH (she can go at 105, but only on a down hill with a tail wind), but that was better than nothing. We were divided into relative speed groups, and none of the others overtook me. Ha ha.
All in all, it was a fantastic day, and I learned how to take a line into a corner, and most importantly, how to safely accelerate out of a corner. Also, how to read a corner. I also learned when and how to use back brakes (hardly ever), and when and how to apply brakes in gravel.
I had the best time, and learned a lot to keep me safe.
To all you other 2 wheelers out there: safe riding, and God speed.
Firstly, we discussed rider safety gear, which I already knew from my club and biker friends; although it is amazing to see how few people take it seriously. I know that you can tend to feel like a bit of a plonka wearing full gear if you are only going down to the shops, but there is an acronym that all bikers should live by – ATGATT. It stands for all the gear, all the time, and is worth remembering. I speak from experience.
Once we had discussed the pros and cons of full leathers versus cordura or Kevlar, and the necessity of spending a minimum of R2500 (yikes, mine cost way less than that) on your helmet, we started on the clutch and throttle control at low and high speed. This was interesting because there was a person there whose bike was far too big and heavy and this person kept stalling and dropping the bike. To practise this we did various manoeuvres in straight lines, in wide arcs, and in circles around cones.
After that we went onto continuous circles around cones in a figure of eight. That was very cool. I think it may have to do with the fact that I don’t have a clutch (I ride a scoot) but I have loads of fun on this exercises zooming around the cones.
After that we went to the mountain pass and learned how to enter and exit a corner, how to judge the speed, and how to tell when it is time to accelerate out of a corner. This may sound basic, but if you don’t have a clue, and find yourself bliskeming through the barrier, you will know what I mean when I say you need to learn this!
The mountain pass was fun as we did corners up hill and down hill, on sandy patches, fairly sharp corners, and while chasing each other. Loads of fun again.
After that it was onto the gradient slopes. This proved to be very interesting for those whose clutch control was a bit dodgy. While we were there, we watched the Landrovers go down what looked like a 90 degree slope (Help!) and come up a 45 degree slope. I didn’t see the sign, and I am sure it cannot have been 90 degrees, but it was certainly too damn steep to have walked.
After lunch, we went to the suspension track to ride over simulated surfaces. This was more fun. Potholes, gravel, bad conditions, etc. Swerving, braking, slopes, and you name it. More fun was had by all.
After that we went to the Dynamic Ride and Handling track to put it all together and see if we had actually learned anything. That was groovy. We could go as fast as we wanted, and some zoomed faster than others. There were many sharp corners here but the hills were not as much fun as they were gentler.
The final thing of the day was the High Speed Oval. WOOHOO! Of course, I went as fast as my scoot would let me, which was a pitiful 95KPH (she can go at 105, but only on a down hill with a tail wind), but that was better than nothing. We were divided into relative speed groups, and none of the others overtook me. Ha ha.
All in all, it was a fantastic day, and I learned how to take a line into a corner, and most importantly, how to safely accelerate out of a corner. Also, how to read a corner. I also learned when and how to use back brakes (hardly ever), and when and how to apply brakes in gravel.
I had the best time, and learned a lot to keep me safe.
To all you other 2 wheelers out there: safe riding, and God speed.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Department of Homeland Affairs
Another bug bear I have at the moment is the Department of Homeland Affairs. My passport has expired. In order to get another, it takes 6 to 8 weeks, unless you apply for a temporary one which you can get in 11 days.
If you apply for a temporary one at the same time, you have to complete 2 application forms, and pay an additional R500 for the “emergency” document, although there are 2 specific blocks on the application form – one saying emergency passport, and one saying emergency travel documents. This one is a temporary passport, and will allow you have a passport much quicker than the usual wait. But there is a catch. There are MANY countries that do not accept these so-called temporary passports such as the UK, Dubai, India, and a few other I forget.
I have also discovered another annoying thing. The reason it takes 6 to 8 weeks for the normal passports to be ready is that they are not processed right away.
There is an SMS number you can text to see the progress of you document, and so far, mine is still not registering as a application, never mind any of the other steps. This is obviously because all the stupid temporary ones go to the top of the pile and the rest of us just have to wait.
This is a stupid system. If they just processed them all as they came in there would be no problem. WTF is wrong with this picture?
I am flying to the UK in 6 months. I just hope my passport is ready by then. Some people involved in the procurement of these type of travel documents advised me that I was wise to apply so early as I may only just make it.
Watch this space…
If you apply for a temporary one at the same time, you have to complete 2 application forms, and pay an additional R500 for the “emergency” document, although there are 2 specific blocks on the application form – one saying emergency passport, and one saying emergency travel documents. This one is a temporary passport, and will allow you have a passport much quicker than the usual wait. But there is a catch. There are MANY countries that do not accept these so-called temporary passports such as the UK, Dubai, India, and a few other I forget.
I have also discovered another annoying thing. The reason it takes 6 to 8 weeks for the normal passports to be ready is that they are not processed right away.
There is an SMS number you can text to see the progress of you document, and so far, mine is still not registering as a application, never mind any of the other steps. This is obviously because all the stupid temporary ones go to the top of the pile and the rest of us just have to wait.
This is a stupid system. If they just processed them all as they came in there would be no problem. WTF is wrong with this picture?
I am flying to the UK in 6 months. I just hope my passport is ready by then. Some people involved in the procurement of these type of travel documents advised me that I was wise to apply so early as I may only just make it.
Watch this space…
Don’t try to help me, just do what I ask you to do
So today I asked a colleague to perform a certain financial function for me that I do not have access to on the financial system, which is so simple it should have taken him less than 3 minutes to do it. I needed a credit note against a particular invoice due to an extremely long-winded negotiation with a client that has taken a year to resolve, and has now finally been agreed upon.
All that needed to be done was a credit note to be created for an amount which I specified, and for him to let me know it was done in the system so I could print the note, get a partner to sign it, scan it in and send it to the client. But no. Things are NEVER that simple.
2 hours later he calls me back with a long story about how he cannot reverse the invoice because it is in the previous financial year, and it is only for a part of the amount. Of course it is – this is why I asked for a credit note. The invoice is NOT supposed to be reversed, it is supposed to stand, and only a portion is supposed to be credited.
I explained that to him, in as much detail as I had put into the mail, and he still did not understand.
Now I realise that NOBODY is indispensable, but there are a few people at my office that we simply cannot do without. The person he is replacing is one of them. She is the only person who knows the financial system, and who knows what is going on, and who actually listens to you when you ask her to do something.
She doesn’t try help me by doing something else (assuming I must have used the incorrect term, and substituting another in its place), and she also understands the urgency of things at all times.
One of the things I hate most about the office environment is people who either are completely fecking stupid, or those who try help you by doing something other than what you have asked them to do because they think they are helping you. STOP IT! You are not helping. You are causing a problem and making work for everyone, including yourself.
Think people. Think!
All that needed to be done was a credit note to be created for an amount which I specified, and for him to let me know it was done in the system so I could print the note, get a partner to sign it, scan it in and send it to the client. But no. Things are NEVER that simple.
2 hours later he calls me back with a long story about how he cannot reverse the invoice because it is in the previous financial year, and it is only for a part of the amount. Of course it is – this is why I asked for a credit note. The invoice is NOT supposed to be reversed, it is supposed to stand, and only a portion is supposed to be credited.
I explained that to him, in as much detail as I had put into the mail, and he still did not understand.
Now I realise that NOBODY is indispensable, but there are a few people at my office that we simply cannot do without. The person he is replacing is one of them. She is the only person who knows the financial system, and who knows what is going on, and who actually listens to you when you ask her to do something.
She doesn’t try help me by doing something else (assuming I must have used the incorrect term, and substituting another in its place), and she also understands the urgency of things at all times.
One of the things I hate most about the office environment is people who either are completely fecking stupid, or those who try help you by doing something other than what you have asked them to do because they think they are helping you. STOP IT! You are not helping. You are causing a problem and making work for everyone, including yourself.
Think people. Think!
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
the world is a village, except it is not
This is a picture of me with my best friend in the whole world at Cape Agulhas - the most southern point of Africa. I met him online 9 months ago. We got chatting, and became fast friends.
Eventually, we decide to come visit me in South Africa, all the way from Ireland, and it was better than either of us hoped. He is a true gentlman, a man of honour, and is my best friend in all the world.
I cried when he left to go back home, and I miss him terribly, but he has invited me to go visit him in Dublin, and I am saving for a ticket. I think I will write the whole story down in the next post, but wanted to put his smiling mug up here to remind me how wonderful life can be.
Although the world is a village in that we can meet online and chat as if we are neighbours, I cannot just pop next door to see him and give him a hug, or go see him for a chat.
Please will someone invent a teleporter really quickly? Pretty Please?
Saturday, February 03, 2007
When it is not funny
There are many different types of humour, depending on where you live in the world, how yuo were brought up, your home language, and how you see the world, but I think we can all agree that humour which is always at someone else's expense is just not funny.
I have a colleauge who thinks he is just sooooooo fecking funny because he goes around insulting people all day long, and passes it off as funny. He then looks for affirmation, and si helluva surprised when he doesn't get it.
I can't decide if he is stupid or just mean-spirited.
Funny is as funny does, or something like it. Surely it not funny to call someone stupid, or see a diary on their desk and ask them if it is the dummy's guide to time management, or if they have a shoe off to ask them what the awful smell is.
Funny is like clever. You can't buy it. No matter where you shop, nor how many times you say the same thing...
I have a colleauge who thinks he is just sooooooo fecking funny because he goes around insulting people all day long, and passes it off as funny. He then looks for affirmation, and si helluva surprised when he doesn't get it.
I can't decide if he is stupid or just mean-spirited.
Funny is as funny does, or something like it. Surely it not funny to call someone stupid, or see a diary on their desk and ask them if it is the dummy's guide to time management, or if they have a shoe off to ask them what the awful smell is.
Funny is like clever. You can't buy it. No matter where you shop, nor how many times you say the same thing...
Monday, January 22, 2007
New words and phrases
Fabulous - now to remember them...
New Words for 2007
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box
AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under
GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare
MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing
PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks
SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive person
TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women
And just because they're funny..... Old Words for 2006
TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks
BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible
SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves
ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and
advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard
SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die
CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles
PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business"
SINBAD. single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate
STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
whiny
ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed
to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" -
needless paperwork and processes
404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located
OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of
buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff
member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is
known as a McShit with Lies.(we've ALL done this)
BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am
BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home
after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you
live, how you got here, and where you've come from
MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you
go:"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!"
MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're
in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive
people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in
MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning
before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a
10-Pinter in your bed instead
SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person
Friday, January 19, 2007
Men and bums
Another thing I know about men for sure (or maybe about my colleague, who represents the typical male) is that when a man walks behind a woman that is what he is thinking. Behind.
He just walked into the office and said, and I quote: “Say what you want, but African women have great asses”.
I asked him who he was referring to and he said he really didn’t care who it was as he wasn’t concentrating on her face at all. In fact, he didn’t even take the time to look at her face. He couldn’t even have told me if he knew who it was; he was completely fixated on her butt.
Just to prove my point, he also looked at my chest this morning, blushed, and said (I kid you not) “no Friday cleavage then? I was looking forward to some cleavage and now you have ruined my day.”
I find it completely amusing that he thinks it is funny to say that right out loud, and secondly that he thinks it is appropriate to say something like that at all in this day and age.
He just walked into the office and said, and I quote: “Say what you want, but African women have great asses”.
I asked him who he was referring to and he said he really didn’t care who it was as he wasn’t concentrating on her face at all. In fact, he didn’t even take the time to look at her face. He couldn’t even have told me if he knew who it was; he was completely fixated on her butt.
Just to prove my point, he also looked at my chest this morning, blushed, and said (I kid you not) “no Friday cleavage then? I was looking forward to some cleavage and now you have ruined my day.”
I find it completely amusing that he thinks it is funny to say that right out loud, and secondly that he thinks it is appropriate to say something like that at all in this day and age.
Can you say “sexual harassment”?
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Men and cleavage
So, I think there is a compulsive connection between women's breasts and men's eyes. I did a little experiment the other day - I wore a tight-fitting, black, crossover, fairly low cut, revealing t-shirt. Of all the men, one (who I suspect is gay) did not look at my cleavage. The rest looked, almost as if they could not help it. I questioned a few of them on it, and their reply was that if I am going to wear clothes like that then I get what I want, and do they.
Whatever.
I am just totally amused that men in general are so unable to control themselves. It is both amusing, and sad. Poor guys. Imagine being ruled by women so obviously and so impulsively all the time...
I guess I never noticed this before because I have been overweight my whole life, and have only recently noticed that I have a body.
I have lost 43 kilos in the last 3 years, and kept it off. Just a few more to go. woohoo. I am literally half the women I used to be.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)