Internediate Motorcycle training

I completed my Intermediate Motorcycle training last Saturday at Gerotek, and it was great fun. I learned a lot about handling my scooter, and about handling myself on the scooter, as well as what not to do. Here is a brief synopsis:

Firstly, we discussed rider safety gear, which I already knew from my club and biker friends; although it is amazing to see how few people take it seriously. I know that you can tend to feel like a bit of a plonka wearing full gear if you are only going down to the shops, but there is an acronym that all bikers should live by – ATGATT. It stands for all the gear, all the time, and is worth remembering. I speak from experience.

Once we had discussed the pros and cons of full leathers versus cordura or Kevlar, and the necessity of spending a minimum of R2500 (yikes, mine cost way less than that) on your helmet, we started on the clutch and throttle control at low and high speed. This was interesting because there was a person there whose bike was far too big and heavy and this person kept stalling and dropping the bike. To practise this we did various manoeuvres in straight lines, in wide arcs, and in circles around cones.

After that we went onto continuous circles around cones in a figure of eight. That was very cool. I think it may have to do with the fact that I don’t have a clutch (I ride a scoot) but I have loads of fun on this exercises zooming around the cones.

After that we went to the mountain pass and learned how to enter and exit a corner, how to judge the speed, and how to tell when it is time to accelerate out of a corner. This may sound basic, but if you don’t have a clue, and find yourself bliskeming through the barrier, you will know what I mean when I say you need to learn this!

The mountain pass was fun as we did corners up hill and down hill, on sandy patches, fairly sharp corners, and while chasing each other. Loads of fun again.

After that it was onto the gradient slopes. This proved to be very interesting for those whose clutch control was a bit dodgy. While we were there, we watched the Landrovers go down what looked like a 90 degree slope (Help!) and come up a 45 degree slope. I didn’t see the sign, and I am sure it cannot have been 90 degrees, but it was certainly too damn steep to have walked.

After lunch, we went to the suspension track to ride over simulated surfaces. This was more fun. Potholes, gravel, bad conditions, etc. Swerving, braking, slopes, and you name it. More fun was had by all.

After that we went to the Dynamic Ride and Handling track to put it all together and see if we had actually learned anything. That was groovy. We could go as fast as we wanted, and some zoomed faster than others. There were many sharp corners here but the hills were not as much fun as they were gentler.

The final thing of the day was the High Speed Oval. WOOHOO! Of course, I went as fast as my scoot would let me, which was a pitiful 95KPH (she can go at 105, but only on a down hill with a tail wind), but that was better than nothing. We were divided into relative speed groups, and none of the others overtook me. Ha ha.

All in all, it was a fantastic day, and I learned how to take a line into a corner, and most importantly, how to safely accelerate out of a corner. Also, how to read a corner. I also learned when and how to use back brakes (hardly ever), and when and how to apply brakes in gravel.

I had the best time, and learned a lot to keep me safe.

To all you other 2 wheelers out there: safe riding, and God speed.

Department of Homeland Affairs

Another bug bear I have at the moment is the Department of Homeland Affairs. My passport has expired. In order to get another, it takes 6 to 8 weeks, unless you apply for a temporary one which you can get in 11 days.

If you apply for a temporary one at the same time, you have to complete 2 application forms, and pay an additional R500 for the “emergency” document, although there are 2 specific blocks on the application form – one saying emergency passport, and one saying emergency travel documents. This one is a temporary passport, and will allow you have a passport much quicker than the usual wait. But there is a catch. There are MANY countries that do not accept these so-called temporary passports such as the UK, Dubai, India, and a few other I forget.

I have also discovered another annoying thing. The reason it takes 6 to 8 weeks for the normal passports to be ready is that they are not processed right away.

There is an SMS number you can text to see the progress of you document, and so far, mine is still not registering as a application, never mind any of the other steps. This is obviously because all the stupid temporary ones go to the top of the pile and the rest of us just have to wait.

This is a stupid system. If they just processed them all as they came in there would be no problem. WTF is wrong with this picture?

I am flying to the UK in 6 months. I just hope my passport is ready by then. Some people involved in the procurement of these type of travel documents advised me that I was wise to apply so early as I may only just make it.

Watch this space…

Don’t try to help me, just do what I ask you to do

So today I asked a colleague to perform a certain financial function for me that I do not have access to on the financial system, which is so simple it should have taken him less than 3 minutes to do it. I needed a credit note against a particular invoice due to an extremely long-winded negotiation with a client that has taken a year to resolve, and has now finally been agreed upon.

All that needed to be done was a credit note to be created for an amount which I specified, and for him to let me know it was done in the system so I could print the note, get a partner to sign it, scan it in and send it to the client. But no. Things are NEVER that simple.

2 hours later he calls me back with a long story about how he cannot reverse the invoice because it is in the previous financial year, and it is only for a part of the amount. Of course it is – this is why I asked for a credit note. The invoice is NOT supposed to be reversed, it is supposed to stand, and only a portion is supposed to be credited.

I explained that to him, in as much detail as I had put into the mail, and he still did not understand.

Now I realise that NOBODY is indispensable, but there are a few people at my office that we simply cannot do without. The person he is replacing is one of them. She is the only person who knows the financial system, and who knows what is going on, and who actually listens to you when you ask her to do something.

She doesn’t try help me by doing something else (assuming I must have used the incorrect term, and substituting another in its place), and she also understands the urgency of things at all times.

One of the things I hate most about the office environment is people who either are completely fecking stupid, or those who try help you by doing something other than what you have asked them to do because they think they are helping you. STOP IT! You are not helping. You are causing a problem and making work for everyone, including yourself.

Think people. Think!