Those of you who are older than 12 will remember that television has not always been around in this country. In fact, I can still remember when we got ours. 1976 I think was the year. It was very exciting. We used to watch the test pattern. It had groovy colours and everything. It didn’t do anything except have colours so you could tune your TV. It didn’t move, and it didn’t change. But it was exciting none the less.
Then there were the programmes. More about that later. But there was one news reader in particular who read the news then who is still reading the news now. Riaan Cruywagen. And if you see the snippets they show occasionally of how things have changed since then, you will see that he looks EXACTLY the same.
Now rumour has it that he suffered from cancer, and everyone knows he wears a rug, so that takes care of the hair. But what about the skin colour and lack of wrinkles? And have you ever watched him speak? I had to study news readers for my singing course – to see how frugal they are with facial movement (good vocal technique comes from the tongue and back of the throat or something…) and if you watch him he does not move a muscle except his lips. Not his shoulders, not his mouth, not his cheeks, not his anything. Other news readers are never as good as that.
Let’s look at this from a scientific perspective:
Fact 1: the man has not aged in 30 years. His skin tone has not changed, his colouring has not changed, and his hair has not changed
Fact 2: the man does not waste any superfluous movement in his face when he talks – almost as if he can’t help not doing it…
Fact 3 the man pronounces every single word correctly. No human could have 100% error free speech for that long…
Fact 4: the man never gets rattled, and I have never seen him make a mistake
Fact 5: the man’s skin colouring looks exactly like Commander Data from Star Trek. Coincidence? If they cannot get a correct human pallor even in the 24th century, how can we be expected to do it now in the 21st?
Fact 6: the man’s eyes don’t change when he smiles, and he does smile…
Individually, these facts are suggestive. Taken together, I submit that they are conclusive, and must be correct.
I could be wrong, but I was only wrong once before - I thought I was wrong…
