the world is a village, except it is not

This is a picture of me with my best friend in the whole world at Cape Agulhas - the most southern point of Africa. I met him online 9 months ago. We got chatting, and became fast friends.

Eventually, we decide to come visit me in South Africa, all the way from Ireland, and it was better than either of us hoped. He is a true gentlman, a man of honour, and is my best friend in all the world.

I cried when he left to go back home, and I miss him terribly, but he has invited me to go visit him in Dublin, and I am saving for a ticket. I think I will write the whole story down in the next post, but wanted to put his smiling mug up here to remind me how wonderful life can be.

Although the world is a village in that we can meet online and chat as if we are neighbours, I cannot just pop next door to see him and give him a hug, or go see him for a chat.

Please will someone invent a teleporter really quickly? Pretty Please?

When it is not funny

There are many different types of humour, depending on where you live in the world, how yuo were brought up, your home language, and how you see the world, but I think we can all agree that humour which is always at someone else's expense is just not funny.

I have a colleauge who thinks he is just sooooooo fecking funny because he goes around insulting people all day long, and passes it off as funny. He then looks for affirmation, and si helluva surprised when he doesn't get it.

I can't decide if he is stupid or just mean-spirited.

Funny is as funny does, or something like it. Surely it not funny to call someone stupid, or see a diary on their desk and ask them if it is the dummy's guide to time management, or if they have a shoe off to ask them what the awful smell is.

Funny is like clever. You can't buy it. No matter where you shop, nor how many times you say the same thing...

New words and phrases

Fabulous - now to remember them...

New Words for 2007

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.

AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box

AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under

GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare

MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing

PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks

SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive person

TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women


And just because they're funny..... Old Words for 2006

TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks

BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible

SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves

ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and
advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard

SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die

CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles

PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business"

SINBAD. single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate

STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
whiny

ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed
to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" -
needless paperwork and processes

404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located

OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')

GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of
buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff
member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is
known as a McShit with Lies.(we've ALL done this)

BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am

BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home
after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you
live, how you got here, and where you've come from

MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you
go:"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!"

MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're
in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive
people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in

MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning
before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a
10-Pinter in your bed instead

SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person

Men and bums

Another thing I know about men for sure (or maybe about my colleague, who represents the typical male) is that when a man walks behind a woman that is what he is thinking. Behind.

He just walked into the office and said, and I quote: “Say what you want, but African women have great asses”.

I asked him who he was referring to and he said he really didn’t care who it was as he wasn’t concentrating on her face at all. In fact, he didn’t even take the time to look at her face. He couldn’t even have told me if he knew who it was; he was completely fixated on her butt.

Just to prove my point, he also looked at my chest this morning, blushed, and said (I kid you not) “no Friday cleavage then? I was looking forward to some cleavage and now you have ruined my day.”

I find it completely amusing that he thinks it is funny to say that right out loud, and secondly that he thinks it is appropriate to say something like that at all in this day and age.

Can you say “sexual harassment”?

Joke of the day (not my original...)

Men and cleavage

So, I think there is a compulsive connection between women's breasts and men's eyes. I did a little experiment the other day - I wore a tight-fitting, black, crossover, fairly low cut, revealing t-shirt. Of all the men, one (who I suspect is gay) did not look at my cleavage. The rest looked, almost as if they could not help it. I questioned a few of them on it, and their reply was that if I am going to wear clothes like that then I get what I want, and do they.

Whatever.

I am just totally amused that men in general are so unable to control themselves. It is both amusing, and sad. Poor guys. Imagine being ruled by women so obviously and so impulsively all the time...

I guess I never noticed this before because I have been overweight my whole life, and have only recently noticed that I have a body.

I have lost 43 kilos in the last 3 years, and kept it off. Just a few more to go. woohoo. I am literally half the women I used to be.

Christmas Lunch! Yum

This year, instead of having the usual (albeit delicious) Mongolian braai, I managed to negotiate a different plan. We had the most delicious roast chicken with cranberry stuffing, roasted vegetables, and roasted potatoes.

We had also planned on having green salad, and red salad. We did so many roasted veggies that we did not make the salads, as there seemed to be quite enough to eat.

We put the chicken into a cooking bag, and surrounded it with the veggies, lightly coated in olive oil, and very sparingly drizzled with honey.

After 2 hours in the oven (the veggies came out a bit before), the chicken was done. The final touch was to put some Dukkah onto the potatoes. We had made our own Dukkah, and it is the most excellent thing ever. It is supposed to be a fragrant Egyptian spice, and MAN is it ever delicious.

We got the base recipe from a book somewhere, but made it our own. You take one cup of oven-roasted almonds, one cup of oven roasted sesame seeds, one third of a cup of coriander seeds, one third of a cup of cumin seeds, and blend it all in a food processor. Then add a quarter teaspoon of flaked sea salt, and you have the best spice in the world.

It is a very subtle yet fragrant flavour that we added liberally to the potatoes.

For festive drinks we made cranberry and soda with ribbons of cucumber and strawberry in them. The looked very merry.

I am going to try upload some pics for you all to see.

The drinks with the cucumber ribbons:


Here is the raw chicken with the delicious-looking veggies before they went in:

Driving lessons 101

Inspired by being a passenger in my friend's car. !!!!

Lesson 1
Don’t break into a corner. If you have to, break before, but you will have more control of your vehicle if you accelerate into a corner than if you are breaking. Plus, people don’t expect you to slam on anchors for no apparent reason just because there is a corner ahead.

Lesson 2
Always be aware of where cars are around you. This includes those behind you, in front of you, and yes, even next to you. This is so that in the unexpected, yet almost certain to occur event, you know where your escape routes are, and don’t have to start looking when you only have one second to act. The same goes for if you are waiting to be let into traffic. Don’t start looking for gaps on the other side if one side lets you in…

Lesson 3
Be aware of the surface of the road ahead and to the sides of you. Again, this has to do with planning an escape route. ‘nuf said.

Lesson 4
Be aware of the potential danger spots such as side roads where cars will suddenly come out of nowhere into your lane because they can. Perhaps they did see you, perhaps they did not. Even if you were right, you are still dead.

Lesson 5
Expect people to stop for pigeons, dogs, old ladies, and even beetles (imaginary or real) with no reason whatsoever. However, this will be no problem for you if you have kept your following distance. Again, even if you were right, your car still gets bent…

Lesson 6
People will wait until the last minute to go, and will drive out in front of you because they can. Anticipate this. You know it is going to happen.

Lesson 7
Learn to use your breaks properly. Anticipate, and instead of screaming up to an intersection or a group of cars, try just lifting your foot off the accelerator and letting gravity help you. You will find that your petrol bill goes down significantly too.

My Mum has 2 medals that her Dad got for safe driving. Can you imagine that? It seems inconceivable that such things were ever awarded. I bet the people who gave those out are turning in their graves today.

I wanna buy a helicopter

Safe driving...

New neighbours

I have a new neighbour, which means that my old neighbour is gone. Woohoo! She was a very rude, mean-spirited, and selfish woman, and I am glad she is gone. (I realise that is not really a very good attitude to have, but I don't really care.)

When she moved in, I went to welcome her, and she was rude and obviously did not want to be part of our neighbourhood, or perhaps was not used to being welcomed into a neighbourhood. I would greet her everytime I saw her, but she would either swear at me under her breath, or ignore me flat. I was still friendly to her for the past 2 years, and finally yesterday evening I saw that a new couple had moved in. (I had heard various noises the evening before until 1am, but that was not unusual, so I ignored it.

Anyway, I went to welcome my new neighbours, and they seem like a wonderful couple. I cannot tell you how pleased I am. We have already discussed where the good shops are in the neighbourhood, where the best take away joints are, best routes onto the highways, doctors, vets, etc, and we even have a coffee date. I am also going to help them paint one of their rooms.

Not only are they friendly, but they also don't have a dog. Now, I love animals, and have had various combinations all my life. I currently have a cat. My old neighbour had a dog who used to get out of her yard (because she did not have a gate), and deposit tons and tons of dog poo on my lawn, and chase my cat daily. Despite the complex and body coporeate rules that every place must have a gate if it has animals, she simply did not ever put one up, which meant that her dog could wriggle through my gate which has holes between the slats of the metal. Needless to say, I asked her politely many times, but she would either ignore me, or say "well, that is what dogs do!"

Next to brussel sprouts and cooked oatmeal, dog poo is THE MOST DISGUSTING thing in the world, and I really resent having to pick it up if I don't have a dog.

I considered picking it up and giving it to her weekly, but I was afraid she may hit me. LOL. Never mind, she has gone now.

Thank goodness for new neighbours.

Yaaaaaaaay!

Cretin driver...

Yesterday, it was raining while I was driving on the highway. Now, while I am the first to admit that the general driver in South Africa is not what I would call a "good" driver, it gets worse when it rains. Even if it only rains a bit. As soon as the roads become even vaguely slick, people forget how to drive completely (that is if they ever knew how in the first place!), and somehow, people drive even closer behind you, and faster than they do when their tyres grip on the road is more solid.

Case in point: yesterday, I watched helplessly as a man in a white bakkie (you may call it a truck or a utility vehicle, depending on which part of the world you live in) came speeding up behind me, oblivious to the fact that all three lanes of traffic were driving at only 30KPH due to the poor visibility and rain. He came belting along, and suddenly saw me. He slammed on anchors, and I could see that he was going to hit me, so I tried to calmly move forward into the space I had left in front of me, but I knew it would not be enough, and I braced myself for the impact.

At the last possible moment, he swerved out and hit the barrier in the middle of the island. Now you have to understand. I have what may be called an overactive imagination. In my mind, it all happened in slow motion, and I could see it as if it were a cartoon, happening with the stars, the smoke escaping out of the bonnet, and everything. Even the sound of the impact had a quasi-cartoon sound to it. I really should not have laughed, and perhaps it was the release of the tension and adrenalin, but I burst out laughing. I still laugh now at the thought of picture on my mind. Luckily, he was not injured at all, and there was little damage to his car.

Thank goodness.

All I can say is I have ABS breaks, and he does not. I guess that's what the barrier is for. Poor guy. Perhaps he will pay closer attention next time.

Dodged a bullet. Here's to the next dodge...

Sleeping...

A friend of mine says that sleeping is a waste of time. She says that time you spend sleeping is time lost, and that you never get that time back.

Firstly – Duh! Secondly, how can it be a waste of time if your body is healing, regenerating, and relaxing? Thirdly, when else do you get to dream? I know some of you said you don’t dream, or don’t remember your dreams, and some dreams are bad dreams, but some dreams are good dreams.

In the words of Ralph Wiggum (from the Simpsons) “Oh boy sleep. That’s where I’m a Viking!” I find the moments just before wakefulness to be among the most pleasant, specially if it is cold out. Your body is still asleep, and warm, but your mind is just starting to wake up.

I don’t consider sleep a waste of time, but I do consider ironing a waste of time. Your clothes do look much better on you when they are ironed, there is no question about that, but soon, they get all wrinkly again. What’s the point of doing something that will get undone and need to be redone soon?If they can send a man to the Moon, and a car to Mars to collect Mars rocks, why can’t they create linen that is wrinkle-proof?

What do you consider to be a waste of time?

Fecking big spider

28 Sept 2006
This morning, as I got to my office, the usual round up of dust bunnies, viruses creeping around the aircon machine, and dead leaves on the plant greeted me, but I also had an additional visitor. Reading the sage words of Zen advice on keeping your head when all around you are failing (you know, things such as no one is listening until you fart…) was an adolescent baboon spider. I looked at him in surprise, and he looked at me as if I was a piece of mouldy cheese.

After trying to get hold of any men at work who would be willing to help us get rid of the spider (and yes, they were all too scared to do it) I phoned my brother, described it to him, and fond out that it was most likely a Baboon spider which is not venomous. He suggested just patting it from behind with my hand, and letting it walk onto my other hand (yeah right!) and dropping it gently out the window onto a branch.

I got a long ruler, and a big piece of cardboard (hands - I don't think so), and as I was about to do "le manoeuvre", the cleaning lady jostled me out of the way, and hit it with a brush into a bucket of warm water, and threw it and the water out of the window.

Oh well.

Now for the crux of the matter… You may have read in a previous post that my middle brother (the one who I phoned in this piece) used to keep Baboon Spiders as pets. I do remember that we used to hold them and play with them. I was a lot younger then, and I guess what they say about the young having no fear is true, because I was scared today. Scared the spider would run up my arm and onto my head, scared it would bite me, scared it would be sore, scared of I don’t even know what. The point is, there was a time when I would not have thought twice about doing it. The proof of this is below in my oldest brother’s email response.Names and email addresses have been erased to protect my anonymity.

------------
You're such a poofter. I recall a time when you and xxx were holding the tarantulas. I had to do it too, cause face was at stake.
xxx

Benefits of an office...

25 Sept 2006

I figured out today that I don't have a sore back, and that I an not walking hunched over on the left side.I realised it is because I have been leaving my piles of books and papers in the office.You may think this is a normal thing to do, but when you work from the client, and a different client site every day, you get to carry all your crap with you.

Now, let's be realistic. We are supposed to be working in a paperless office environment. Ha ha. Don't even get me started on that. You have to print stuff out so that the bosses can read it, proof it, change it, sign it, and then copy it.I do scan most of my stuff, but all client documents and boss documents must be paper-based. I end up carrying at least 10 kilograms of paper with me every day in my work bag, along with my laptop. I eventually invested in a backpack type so that the weight would be evenly distributed over both shoulders, but I never use it that way. I end up carrying it all on my right shoulder, and this has caused me to walk funny.

Perhaps I always did, but it also give me backache.I didn't realise how bad it was until we got an office two weeks ago. I now officially have a place to put my stuff overnight, and leave my things on a desk where I know they will be safe until I return the next day (if I know that I am not going to the client first thing in the morning).Usually, we worked on the premise of hot desks - which is a good method, except if you have multiple documents that need to be filed and stored for legal purposes. My boot (trunk for the Americans) is full of client approvals, sign-off documents, and such. It would be a helluva thing if my car was ever stolen.

But now, we have an office, and I can store the stuff there.It is also a good thing because I can leave my heavy files and papers there overnight, just bringing my laptop home every day.

My back thanks the powers that be, and I thank them too. I am sure that the auditors will too if and when they need to see all project documentation.Who knows, maybe we will get a printer on the same floor that is not half a day's walk away, but i am not holding my breath...Woohoo!

Stop and throw the roses... at the passers by

My car broke down in rush hour traffic this evening. Damn annoying. However, it was at a stop street, so things could have been worse. At least I was not in the middle of the intersection.

The gradient of the road was quite steep, so there was no chance of me pushing the car to the side on my own, and i think i can't have been flashing enough leg because it took ages for anyone to stop and help me.

I put my hazard lights on, and phoned for help, but in the 20 minutes that I waited, I observed the following - I think you will it as interesting as I did.

At least 120 cars drove past me.
2 stopped and offered help.
5 hooted at me in annoyance as if I was doing something wrong.
5 flashed lights at me from behind in annoyance as if I was doing something wrong.
3 cars (ladies I must admit) stopped behind me and waited for me to go, realising about 3 minutes later that I had my hazard lights on...)
7 cars from across the intersection who were turning flashed lights at me to indicate that I could go in front of them (I guess they could not see my hazards either!!)
Lastly, significantly less than half of the cars from behind me noticed more than 2 - 3 meters away that I had my hazard lights on and changed lanes before they were so close they had to wait before they could.And I forgot to mention the best bit - A police Car drove past me too.

I get stopped all the time and have to show my license, but when I need help, they don't stop me.

SIGH.

This is an extraordinary comment on how we drive.

Not always what you think...

Okay, another joke, but this was funny enough to post.

Bob wakes up with a huge hangover the night after a business function.He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!

Bob sits up in bed and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Bob looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping - Love you!!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Bob asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door."So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, bitch, I'm married!!!"

THe philosophy of hte Open Hand...

Have you ever heard that you can trap a monkey with a closed cage and a piece of fruit? The illustration is somewhat over-simplified, but perfectly illustrates the philosophy of the Philosophy of the Open Hand. Let me explain. If you put a delicious piece of fruit, such a banana, or a melon inside a cage with bars just wide enough for a monkey to slip his hand between to reach the fruit, he will grab it, and try to get it out. However, he will not be able to, as he will not let the fruit go to get his hand out of the cage. Thus, he finds himself on the horns of a dilemma. If he lets go, he does not have the fruit, but if he does not let go, cannot be free. Poor little monkey, torn between freedom and greed. Perhaps another illustration from another angle will help to make the point.

Consider that your life is like a glass filled with water. The glass represents your ability to give, receive, and hold "stuff" (money, love, ideas, time, kind words, and so on), and the water is the "stuff" you have. Of course, the bigger the glass, the more you can hold, but essentially, all humans have a similar-sized glass. (Bitterness can cause your glass to crack and break, but that is another post for another time).

Now, every person is born empty, and every person is taught (to a greater or lesser degree) by their families / environment / surroundings / friends / etc how to give and receive "stuff", and some are better at this process than others. Some seem to have an innate ability to do this, while for others it seems to be more difficult.

While some people also have a gift to make "stuff", there is a caveat. You can only receive "stuff" if there is space in your glass, and you can only make space in your glass if you empty your glass. Guess what? You can only empty your glass by giving "stuff" away to others.

It is really very simple. You can only have someone pour something into your glass if it has space, and there will only be space if you have poured some of your own out into someone else's - by giving something away. Here is my challenge to Blogville: Catch someone doing something right today, not only in Blogville, but in RL too. See what a difference smiling at someone can make. Seems silly, but it's true. Another side effect is that you may even feel better about yourself...

Think Bike

There is an ever-increasing number of bikes on our roads, and I have started noticing that the cars are becoming more and more tolerant (or perhaps just aware) of them. Despite the few drivers (women, I must admit) who don’t see them, and can tend to change lanes directly in front of them causing them to pull front wheelies and make all kinds of hand signs at the drivers; the four wheel drivers on the whole are learning to share the road with their two wheel counter-parts.

I have noticed that bikes have the best of all worlds. If the traffic is backed up, bikes can wriggle their way through the lanes and keep moving through the gaps where the cars cannot. Bikes can park in much smaller spaces than cars; bikes can go from zero to ridiculous in like 2 seconds, where most cars cannot; bikes use much less fuel – and let’s face it, it is not getting any cheaper! Bikes are somehow more mobile than cars, and seem to have a whole culture surrounding them. Bikes represent a whole other world to me – a freedom, an ideal, - a nebulous concept I cannot define in words. Something to do with speed, the open road, just you and your wits against everything else (including cars who don’t always see you), an element of danger I guess.

Have you ever owned a bike? Do you currently? Do you wanna?

I may be getting one soon, watch this space...

Hollywood White?

My friend is considering paying over four grand to have her teeth Zoom whitened. I don’t think she needs it, but I guess it’s not up to me. It is the code of the old West – a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do (or woman in this case). I read somewhere that your teeth will never (naturally) be whiter than the whites of your eyes.But surely there is a better way to get whiter teeth than paying so much?

Until a few years ago, toothbrushes were like computer keyboards – there was only really one basic model. Then all of a sardine, there were many different types – with an indicator to let you know when to change it; mixing bristle types on the same brush to maximise the gum massaging and plaque reaching ability of the brush; battery-powered toothbrushes with tiny round heads that were supposed to be the answer to the answer to the world’s teeth cleaning problems, and most recently, there are two types in particular that have caught my eye.

There is the Aquafresh 3-Way Head system which “adapts to the contours of your teeth to effectively remove plaque by reaching along the gum line 5X better* (the * says laboratory testing versus standard flat trim brush)”. Audience: Oooooooh.Then there is the other new Colgate brush (don’t have the advert in front of me) which has sonic pulses - supposed to loosen the plaque and provide a better all round cleaning. This brush takes one AAA battery, and indicator bristles.Both of these brushes seem to work very well, and I am sure that if used morning and evening, as prescribed by most dentists, you should not have any problems with your teeth.

Here are some tips I came across (translation – lifted from some mag) to keep your teeth white:
>rinse your mouth out with water half an hour after eating anything with a high sugar content
>Sugar content can strip enamel from your teeth – cut down on fruit juice and fizzy drinks, or drink them with a straw
>Red wine and coffee leave behind microscopic residues that cannot be easily brushed away, and can stain your teeth
>Brush your twice at least twice a day, and floss once a day to ensure that you keep your teeth clean and free from plaque build-up

The Lady of hte house...

11 Aug 2006

Lady Ashford

That is the name of my cat, and always requires some explanation. I got her from the SPCA, and she was THE most scruffy-looking, the thinnest, the saddest, and most pathetic looking cat they had. But she was also the most beautiful, in her own way. She is a tortoise shell in her colouring, and has pale green eyes. She has a very soft purr, and talks a lot. All in all, a splendid specimen of a cat.

But, when I first got her, she looked to wretched and thin, that I could not help but adopt her. I looked at all the cats in the cages, and considered carefully which I was going to bring home to love. I wanted a kitten, but they had none. Then I saw her. She seemed to be what I would imagine your typical battered and abandoned cat to be – hungry, unkempt, and scruffy. So far from royalty that I decided she needed a regal name. Little did I know that she obviously owned a house and people before. In a very short period of time, with constant love, brushing, and good food, she had become the very picture of health and beauty. Only problem was, she went from 2 kilograms to 5 and a half within a few months. Now she can hardly fit through the cat door LOL.

I have spoken to my neighbours and asked them not to feed her, but they do. I know this because I have her on diet food, but she is still as fat as ever. She is not unhealthily fat as I can still feel her ribs, and she can jump, and run, and climbs my tree right to the top to catch birds (which she gives to me as presents!), so she is not house-bound at all.

They say people who have animals tend to be less stressed than those who don’t. I think that is true, and the amount of laughter she brings into the house is great. For as small as she is, she can take up the whole couch, and will often not leave space for me to sit. If I move her, she will express her disdain at being disturbed.

She also spends hours in the garden chasing the other cats away, and grovelling in the sand. Once I saw her almost red all over from the red sand in one corner of the garden. But she always takes time to groom herself and her white patches are as clean as ever when she has finished.

Guess she really is a lady after all.

Traffic Circles and 4-way stops...

Traffic Circles.

They really aren’t that difficult. Think about it.

There is only one rule – give way to people already in the circle. In South Africa, this means people on the right. It is a very simple thing. In others words, you have to be really stupid to get it wrong, and yet, I am ranting on a blog about it. Go figure…There isn’t a time when it is difficult to figure out who goes, because even if you both get to the intersection at the same time, if you both go at the same time, there won’t be a problem. You should both be able to keep going and not cause a delay of any sort. Theroretically, anyway. If there are already people in the circle, then they have the right of way. I still don’t understand how this concept is difficult.

What am I missing?

Then there are the four-way stops. Again, this should be a very simple concept. Whoever stops first, leaves first. Don’t even get me started on those people who wait for the person opposite them to go before they go, causing the people to the left or right to have to wait longer than necessary? Guess what, you can actually go at the same time as the person opposite you if you are going in the opposite direction… These people foul up the entire traffic flow, potentially doubling commuting time for people like me. I spend at least3 hours a day going to and from work. I hate these people. I find them slow (in both senses of the word) and selfish. Or what about those people who wave you on when it is your right of way simply because you have not completed coming to a complete stop? If I had a Peacemaker like Judge Dredd I believe I would incinerate such people just for being a public nuisance.